The kindness of lolitas at Comic Con 2014

So we indulged in our geekiness and went to NYC Comic Con! Yaaaaaay!~~

Normally my posts are not so chipper, not for any particular reason, but this one is super yuppie!

We managed to both get 4-day passes with the help of my husband’s pals at from New World Manga. It is Sunday night and we are both con-ed out. So pooped that all we want to do is be homebodies for a week. Four days is a lot of con. I don’t know how the rest of you crazy people do it! Besides the draconian security and the stupid cops (and cops’ smelly horses that they do not clean up after) presence, we are happy that we went and had a really good time.

I have not worn lolita for four days straight in a long time! It was very fun, and since most of my things are in storage, it forced me to me very resourceful with my coords. On Thursday, a really kind lolita complimented my outfit! When I pass lolitas, it is a bit of an awkward thing: usually we just pass each other and try not to look. I wonder if I should wave or something. It is just weird. But this was the first time another lolita said she liked my outfit, so it made me super happy!

On Friday my IW jsk got a few more compliments. On Saturday I wore IW again. My sense of direction is not the best, so when I managed to see daylight after the horror that is Penn Station, I was super confused. (By the way, why in the heck does tristate have TWO Penn Stations on the same line? Whenever my husband calls the NJ one “Penn” instead of (other name) “Newark”, I go bonkers because it proliferates the problem. One station named “Penn”, great, how about we name the other one “Pencil” or “Crayon” to avoid ANY confusion for poor travelers?!?! “Penn” can also be an abbreviation for Pennsylvania State University. Okay, I digress…. ) Anyway, I go to a girl who is cosplaying, and turns out it is a lolita-style Pokemon cosplay. We waddle to the convention center together!

Hubbypoo and I agreed to meet at the same area where we helped a little one who fell on the escalator. Right across from the desperate and sleazy advertising campaign of Arizona tea… do not get me started! So I show up at designated time and he is not there. My feet hurt a lot by this point so I decide to try and either find wifi or go home. After wifi fails, I go home. Outside I meet a girl in a super-green lolita coord. She really likes my dress and I think hers is super duper cool too! Turns out, it is Bodyline! I was surprised, because it was one of those oot hime-style op’s that just seem like dangerous territory for Bodyline. Yet it was so pretty and well-made; the chiffon overlays were very elegant and the lace and trim were really amazing!

As I am waddling back based on green lolita’s directions back to the station, two lolitas behind me say they like my jsk. (Yay!!!!) Now normally I am a super shy person, but since we had established a bit of a conversation, I turned around again and asked them if I could please use their phone to call Hubbypoo. When you are as shy as I am, even asking for something like that is a big deal. So I gratefully call, and we figure out what to do. Since the convention center provided me with zero options for contact, I was so so so happy and grateful for the two for saving me hours of frustration!!!!!!!!!

So thank you Thursday lolita, Poke lolita, green lolita, and 8th Ave lolitas for being so kind and wonderful! I had a wonderful time, and everyone looked really really cute! In a place full of geekiness, you were actually the only ones who made me feel like I was with “my” people.


Feeling isolated

As much as I like lolita, it has been on a bit of a hiatus.

My husband and I have been moving around so much that all of my things are stored away in the evil lair of the in-laws, mercilessly packed away in brown cardboard boxes. It is just not practical when we are traveling around. Lately travel has not been entirely exciting. Exotic destinations include incompetent embassies around Tristate and luxury hotel experience has been hearing banging on neighbor’s doors with “ROOM SERVICE!!!” at 8 bloody o’clock over and over every single morning. Who wakes up at such ungodly hours that they are out of their rooms by 8:00?!?! Not us…

I also feel very isolated. In the every day sense, and in a fashion sense, and in a lolita sense. Around the world right now, America is playing world-cop with Syria (more like advancing their own interests, specifically the psycho interests of their “allies”), but my generation seems to be a lot more interested in the latest iPhone garbage coming out, having the time to camp outside the store for days and days. Never mind the fact that it is one of the biggest companies shamelessly sharing information with governments around the world.

These world events have been affect me greatly, although my little voice in the matter hardly changes things. I am no politician nor could I ever be a politician. I know I cannot take responsibility for every bad things that happens to innocent people. Yet again, doesn’t anyone else care about the terrible things that happen? Especially the erosion of civil liberties? All of these lolita meetups are all organized on a monster social network, with iPhones that now, conveniently, collect your fingerprint (and your friends’ and family’s?) as well. In reality, we all had a suspicion anything you do on the internet is traceable. Although it bugs me that Apple put its profits ahead of potentially uncovering the spying scandal, possibly causing massive uproar and interest far greater than any Snowdens ever could generate, I know that it is not just the Apples and Facebooks collecting your data. I know (as everyone else should by now) that you have zero anonymity in any zone of the internet.

But I know this problem isn’t limited to lolita. Many people, young and old (especially old…), do not see the big picture. And that lolita events will continue to be organized on FB, and that I will eventually return to FB for the sake of promoting a few ideas I had in regards to the ways brands can better treat their overseas customers. But I just want to get these feelings out, although I am perhaps the only politically inclined lolita. Well, at least beyond things like homosexual advancement and animal rights and feminism. I just feel more and more lonely… in this fashion I thought I could find some buddies in, I have met few girls who are not the typical ESFP. But maybe those girls are just the ones who, with their inherent bubbliness, get more acceptance and appreciation in the community?

Also, I feel like the feelings I started out with in lolita have been slightly dampened by the attitudes of the online lolita community. But I suppose that is another topic for another post.

Lolita for me is the image of the perfect, happy, fairytale girl/woman. It is so hard right now to indulge in such beauty when there is so much pain and misunderstanding. It is hard to decorate your life in frills, when the backbone of the woman you want to be feels so weak in them.


White apologetics in American lolita?

Thought of this topic this morning while making my hobo coffee. Had to write write write as soon as possible. One controversial post after another? Zoinks.

I have obviously not participated in the lolita community in America for several reasons (1. FB 2. Constant globetrekking 3. Not inclined after reading some nasties online.) There are only two “lolita friends” I have, both in Europe, also being globetrekking wonderwomen. But there is another reason I am starting to get frustrated participating in just the online events, especially when the topic goes into Japanese people– White guilt.

In general, statements like these:

a) “What is so cute about old Japanese women sewing Baby clothes? Huh? How is this remotely acceptable? They had BETTER be paid super well!!!”

b) “I think brands should be friendlier towards English customers since English is so common due to like, colonization.

c) “Wa-lolita?! That be wasis!!! It is cultural appreciation! It is inappropriate! You have to be SENSITIVE!”

Statements like these have stuck in my head, and although I remember them precisely, hopefully these are general enough not to single anyone out, since that is honestly NOT my intention. The internet remembers too much as it is, I certainly do not want to smear a single person even if they blow my mind with their PC logic.

a) Yes, it is VERY cute that Baby has a close relationship with a countryside village, bringing in income to their town. The obaa-chans (featured in this NHK documentary) sewing Baby’s clothes are not doing back-breaking labor like many farmer obaa-chans, although those are perfectly content, healthy, and happy with their lifestyles too. Research has shown that learning, art, and games are good for seniors in preventing serious mental conditions like Alzheimer’s and Dementia. A job that lets you enjoy a hobby, needs your expertise, and is always giving you a healthy challenge?! I think that is a very happy and healthy job indeed, even ideal!!! Who here has a job they can say the same about? It is also providing customers with genuine Japanese goods, something not every brand does.

b) Colo–WHAT?!?! Colonization? I don’t even…. Japan has an amazingly distinct history (like many distinct things about it), a proud and wonderful history, in which its people miraculously stayed isolated and homogenous. But throughout its history, they obviously had their own bloodshed and conflict. Just like the rest of the world. During the extremely limited initial Dutch trade in the 17th-18th century, foreigners were kept in line. Yet is anyone aware of the foreigners who started international harmony between Japan and Europeans? Such as St. Nicholas of Japan (first saint of the Japanese Orthodox Church), who learned the language and won the hearts of locals and even the emperor, softening diplomatic relations, and even being protected by Japanese soldiers during the Russo-Japanese war?

c) I think I can understand my husband’s Python code more than I can understand what “culture appreciation” is and what makes it bad. Wa-Lolita insensitive? Do I have to ask an Asian’s permission to wear it? Also, bringing up bleeding heart ramblings in regards to lack of… Sub-Saharan African Lolita? What. Just… what. Being more tolerant of jsk-without-a-blouse in the middle of July  would be a great first step to Sub-Saharan African Lolita. Secondly, if Sub-Saharan African Lolita wanted to exist, it would. But you cannot show mindless disdain for people of European heritage doing Wa-Lolita, hating any non-traditional lolita, and then go asking for Sub-Saharan African Lolita. Come on. I cannot imagine the cat-butt-face of a PC fairy upon seeing a white girl in Sub-Saharan African Lolita. Whatever the heck that is. Lastly, that non existent genre is a mouthful to type! 

Tell me, do these multi-culti gems exist in Europe? I know for certain I have never encountered this in Japan during my time there. For a bit of background, since I know American girls (or girls in general) like to take things at emotional value, so here is my own bleeding heart story.

In all of my 11 years of US public school, I had to put up with this strange unspoken concept of “white guilt.” I wish I could go back to my early English-retarded elementary school days and say, “Pardon me, but I am from a little country called Russia. In case you do not know, my ancestors had nothing to do with the Southern slave-keeping. My ancestors were, for a long period of history, slaves themselves. MY ethnic group IS the origin of the world ‘slave’ yet MY countrymen are the token white villains in every Hollywood movie (along with Italians), because obviously, blacks and others are NEVER the perpetrators of crime. I have spent fewer years in this country than most of the Mexicans in this room! I am an immigrant too!” But alas, I knew so little about American Christmas from American public school that I did not realize it was celebrated on the 25th until I was 10, since most of December was dedicated to Kwanza, Hanukkah, and Ramadan. I was the token good-grade white girl in a table group of black classmates who naturally, as children do, bullied the different one. Yet of course I was never moved, since my pale skin was needed to sprinkle diversity in a sightly, post-racial manner.

In high school, besides being the only girl in politics club, I was known as the special-snowflake who questioned the textbook. While AP teachers and the rest of these classmates went into relevant discussion that were more than petty half-hearted commentary, the teachers in traditional classes asked me to leave the room for questioning the tone and grooming of the curriculum. In those 11 years, no one thought Russian culture was “cool” or “hip”. No one taught me about German culture, Scandinavian culture, Italian culture, nothing. Ever. Except an voluntary AP Euro course in 12th grade. All this taught me that many American people do not actually WANT to be friends with people of different cultures or hearing all sides. The objective was to save your skin from being called a you-know-what. Especially in young women, and sadly this leaks into attitudes in the lolita community.

They take it upon themselves to be the pinnacles of –here comes the dreaded “r” word– anti-racism. Anti-racism my patooty! No one in any cultures needs you to gush over how good their skin looks with pastel sweet lolita. If equality really is the case, which in treatment of citizens very well should be, no one needs you to be the politically correct referee to come and save the day. From what? From the evils of blacks bleaching their own skin to their own taste? From the evils of kimono sleeves in lolita on a white girl? From obaa-chan sewing? Why do American girls take it upon themselves to assert their own ideas of hyper-sensitivity when they may well benefit from some history (and a joke) instead?

Friends from different countries, especially Japan, are tough cookies to crack. One way to go about it is to make fun of each other, choke on ameboshi, gain 10 kilo from cheeseburgers, look like a stuffed sausage in an op, stumble over your Engrish, all get nakey in an onsen and finish off with underage drinking in a karaoke room.

Because that is how we make friends. Anywhere.

Thank you so much for reading.


Why I do not care about replicas

I had no opinions either way about this topic, it just seemed to pop up at times, and I would skim through it nonchalantly.

Then Mary Magdalene happened.

Then Mary Magdalene and my ribs happened.

Here is my first MM dress that I bought during the winter:


These are its measurements:
Bust: 90 cm
Waist: 69 cm
Length: 94 cm
Shoulder: 32cm
Sleeve Length: 66cm

Recently I learned about MM’s Fleur de Lys from a post about a TaoBao-based replica store. Here is the original:


These are the measurements:
Bust: 90 cm
Waist: 71 cm
Length: 95 cm
Shoulder width: 33 cm
Sleeve length: 16 cm

Now, here are MY measurements:
Bust: 9x cm
Underbust: 84 cm
Waist: 72 cm
Hip: 94 cm
Height: 175 cm

What do I do?!?!?! I am lucky with MM’s new release! Unlike the first dress, with Fleur de Lys, I can get away with only removing only 4 ribs instead of 8!!!!!!! Since I have so many voluptuous assets, I am not allowed into brand, right?!?! Oh gosh, my huge, atrocious European proportions! It is the picture of obesity, huh?

Fact of the matter is, different races have different proportions. There are exceptions, but generally Asian women are skinnier, shorter, and straighter. European women are rounder, taller, and curvier. Black women generally have the same proportions as European women, hence, they might face the same problems as European women. And while I do feel like a giant in Japan, Western femininity is simply different, and that awkwardness is replaced with confidence when I am back among other Westerns. Sadly, white and black women might feel awkward wearing Japanese brand, just as Japanese might feel about their differences compared to Westerners.

To MM, and everyone else against replicas: Although my arms fit in the armholes, my waist can retract a few centimeters, my chest can be unflatteringly compressed, and my thighs are not exposed, there is simply nothing I can do about my ribcage. (Except maybe years of corset-lacing? But that is just silly for simply fitting into burando.) And although I can add some room in the chest, it is extremely difficult to change the 360 degree flair that starts 4 centimeters above my natural waist, making it look bigger than it is. With a dress that is lined and has many panels contributing to this flair, going into that kind of a job is like rocket surgery! And no, I do not want a belt. Also, there is someone somewhere in the world who cannot change something else about their body, and expensive tailoring is not an option.

I know there is a concern of theft. But I think the person in the replica is aware that it is a replica. And I do not think they are necessarily proud of it. Although it may be theft in the legal sense, I might be a full-blown terrorist according to the United States government. (Whoops, the NSA watching me after that? Hahahahaha okay I digress…) I do not know about the severity of other countries, but I am guessing most of us in US, Canada, and Europe are criminals every single day. In the US, there are so many laws that seem to exist for nothing more than selective persecution. We are unconstitutionally in trouble for drinking “underage” by a mad lobby group, we cannot assemble 3+ people without a warrant, we cannot plant bushes in our yards without town approval, and we cannot buy large sugary drinks. And these are just a few. My point: If you attack replicas, please attack them on principle, not “law.”

It is hard to mellow out the severity of an action if the language is so harsh. For example, I could call replica-owners “illegal criminals.” Sometimes people who pressure girls to hate replicas use this kind of language. Yet language is very psychological. I can say, “Independent dressmakers enable cute chubby girls to finally fulfill their lolita dreams and feel pretty, while supporting small businesses and fostering international harmony.” or I can say, “Illegal thieves steal ideas of hardworking Japs to enable freaking Fatty-chan to make our meet-ups look stupid with their illegal illegal illegal activity.”

I think I have made my decision on this issue for as long as I continue lolita. I think parents who teach their children to enjoy wine, bible book clubs, landscapers, and glucose-needing students are NOT doing anything wrong. Neither are girls who need replicas. If MM and other brands can open their ears to the needs of the international community, I will happily choose brand for its superior quality.

In the meantime, I will figure out what to do with my Millefluers dress and look forward to my custom-made goodies in the mail:


Thank you for reading.


Frill 2013

A few words on Frill 2013… (and on the subject of meanness)

My husband and I drove 14 hours to make it to Frill 2013 in Atlanta, Georgia. I worried about the stress it might add to our move to Canada and the timing of it, along with the expenses, but my dear husband, being the kind darling that he is, insisted we drive down. Honestly it was my first community experience. I do not think there is anything particularly strange or less lolita if one chooses not to participate in meet-ups. Especially with the advent of the internet. But now that I think about it, the internet is actually is not an advent at all– It is now completely indispensable.

But anyway, it was fun to see real-life fellow lolitas. I have to admit, I was worried about the level of nastiness that you cannot help but notice on Tumblr confessions and the like. The days before, I found Behind the Bows, which shows a senseless level of cruelty I didn’t even know existed in the most juvenile and desperate of bullies!!! Yet despite all of that, the convention was delightful! Many unique vendors, and we enjoyed the boutique most of all. The fashion show and all other events were well organized.

But most of all, I think it gave everyone, new and old, a good image of lolitas. It was nice to see all different styles My only complaint was that the hotel was ghastly hot. For someone from the north, it was an otherworldly level of heat and humidity. My husband did not partake in the “men’s babysitting” and was always the only man during the lectures, he stuck faithfully by my shy self and had fun too.

I hope next year, the convention draws many more lolitas!!! The more people attend, the bigger Frill can get! During the feedback session, one of the directors said something important: They did not hold a contest because most lolitas were not the girls to get the prom nominations or the whatever-titles-American-high-school-girls-get (I don’t know, never payed enough attention in high school). I think that is extremely true… so if we have our own niche society, do the braver ones of us feel they are finally getting their fame by putting other girls down?

Thankfully, most lolitas truly are NOT bullies. Like me! I truly do not care if you do not wear a petticoat, have simple hair, and have bloomers sticking out under your blurry replica dress. Your outfit may not resemble an AP editorial, and I would not lie and say it is spectacular, but I would not give you unsolicited advice 0r be any less kind, like most other girls! Additionally, I do not care what others say about me! Just be respective to the fashion and the people around you is all!

Anyway, everything seemed to come together at Frill. It was a kind atmosphere for everyone who attended! It certainly gave me hope about the personalities of other girls, and I hope events like these increase a good image of lolita fashion around the world and increase the volume of lolitas!

Thank you for the convention!!!


I hate summer

Oh woe.

It starts.

Even though these are the first warm days in the city in ages, and to most people, it is only spring, in my mind we have already entered that godforsaken time when the weather is unbearably hot and the people unbearably skantily clad– Summer.

As bears hibernate in the winter, the summer sucks 3-4 months out of the year for me. I stay inside like a miserable little animal, dressed in underclothes with my body planted near the most powerful source of cooling/ventilation. Occasionally I have to change positions to ventilate the areas that get sweaty. It is misery. Here are reasons why I despise this season.

  • School breaks are primitively designed, and nowadays they only accommodate the race of humans who enjoy peeling skin, sweat, smells, bugs, and incessant ice-cream trucks.
  • People show too much skin. In America, where some are of bigger proportions, they follow the trends and show too much skin too. Without meaning too much offense, it seems common sense about propriety and self respect completely disappears in summer!
  • People also show their feet in obnoxious flip-flops and think their neon nail polish is something that needs to be seen.
  • The huge ゴキブリ come out. And they can fly. Tokyo showed me the greatest insect terror of my life.
  • Lolita becomes extremely difficult. Any fashion, really.
  • Parasols are not popular outside of Asia. And if one is in fact trying to block the rays, they attempt with an actual umbrella. The concept –or word– that is a “parasol” is not even known. One time, staring, a little boy asked his father, “Why is she holding an umbrella?” I think he may have even double-checked the sky for storm clouds.
  • Some buildings over-air condition, which may be nice when you are trying to dry off, but inappropriate for extended periods of time, as you are dressed in light clothing.
  • “It’s such a great day!”

I can only take a few more days of this before my declaration that I have had my dose of summer until April 2014. Or maybe the cherry blossoms and having my husband by my side can soften my hatred of warm weather.